365 project: 100 days in

Today I am posting an image for day 100 in my 365 project. I am so happy I achieved this little goal in this huge project. I feel satisfied, I feel proud of myself for not giving up on this and keep going. Some of you may think that this isn’t a big deal, I haven’t finished the whole project yet but for me it is a big deal. I’ve never finished anything this huge before and I want to change it with this project. I’ve learned things through those 100 days and I want to share it with you.

1. I learnt to love myself more

I am struggling with social anxiety and low self-esteem for about 5 years now and just simple things like meeting new people or going to a party is a huge deal for me. I try to avoid these kind of situations as much as possible bu I know that one day I’ll have to conquer this fear of social situations. It is a long process though.

If you told me that I’ll be doing this project based on taking selfportraits I would laugh at you. I’ve never had the confidence to take selfies or take a lot of pictures with my friends because I’ve alway thought I look stupid. And here I am standing in front of my camera everyday and it feels so good!

2. Getting out of my comfort zone

I shoot in nature mostly. I live in a village surrounded by forests, meadows and fields. I try to always shoot on location so I don’t have to spend a lot of time in Photoshop later trying to put everything together perfectly. That means I have to  run around my camera in my dress alone in the woods looking like a complete idiot haha. And sometimes there are people who are just enjoying their walk and then they catch me there, in my little perfect spot and watch me acting like an insane person haha.

I was a bit afraid of these situations when I first started but now I’m just like…screw it. I don’t care. I do something I love and I will do crazy things in front of my camera if I know that the final image will look great!

3. I spend more time with my brother

Family is my number one in life. I love my family with all my heart and we spend a good amount of quality time together already I’ve noticed that me and my younger brother Filip are getting closer. He started to join me for my shoots quite often so we do like these little adventures together. I get the car, grab my stuff and props and we drive together to the locations, he’s helping me with the shoot and if I don’t need help he’s taking over my snapchat or is exploring new spots for me. And I love these moments and I think he does too eve if he doesn’t confess it. I am very grateful for these moments.

4. It’s okay to fail

I think this one is very important if you want to grow in your passion. It is okay to fail. Don’t be afraid of failure. You can always take something from it and learn from your mistakes. I will talk about this topis in a separate article later here.

5. I am more open

This last note has all the idea in today’s photo so I’ll just tell you the idea behind it.

I called today’s photo Uncovering. You can see me in a white dress, my hair is floating in the air and a leaves from my hair are falling down to my feet. My body s representing a shedding tree. The idea behind this is that when you see a tree you can’t see the body of the tree because it is covered in leaves. Once the tree lost all the leaves you can see it, exposed, honest, true to itself. It is the same with me in this picture.

I am not very good in talking about my emotions and feelings. I don’t know why, I just feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and exposed. Exactly like the tree when it lost its leaves. That’s why I’m not very open to people and they think I’m weird or mean etc. But I just need some time until I trust the person so they can get to know me. I see that this project changed that. Only a little but it did. I feel I am more open about expressing my feelings, my ideas, I feel more confident in my own skin and I am honest to myself.

uncovered-online-version-small

This is what I’ve learnt through my 100 days and I can’t wait to see what this project will teach me next. I feel gratitude running in my veins. I also feel excitement, passion, pride, achievement and the most important willingness to learn and continue.

Alright my beautiful friends, I hope you enjoyed this and you feel inspired maybe haha. I did a speed edit of this image which you can find on my YouTube channel here later tonight. You can see all 100 photos here. And you can join the Facebook community here!

Have a lovely rest of the day I will speak to you soon.

Michaela xx

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